


Sounds Over the Mountains

by cursed_core



Series: The Marvel Archives [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:54:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26244475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cursed_core/pseuds/cursed_core
Summary: Going over a painful memory
Series: The Marvel Archives [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876885
Kudos: 3





	Sounds Over the Mountains

The tall bulk of a blonde headed man sits across from his dark hair therapist, who greets him with an ever pleasant warm smile. She sorts through some papers on the desk, quickly ordering them so his sheets are at the top. “It is wonderful to see you again, Steve.”

“It is great to see you as well, Mila.”

“So we have quite a bit of time today, is there anything you want to talk about in particular? Or would you like to try and find some new strategies to try and help with your PTSD like last session?”

“There is actually something I would like to discuss.”

Mila looks a bit surprised and grabs a notepad with a pen. “Of course, please go ahead.” Her tone is gentle and encouraging.

He starts with a small sigh. “I want to talk about Bucky. I think that it is finally time especially after what happened in Washington D.C. last year, and with me rethinking these memories over and over again. It is those moments on the train when he fell and I thought I died and what led up to it.”

Her pen scribbles across the paper, writing everything. “Take as much time as you need, Steve. This doesn’t need to all get out in one session.”

“I managed to repress the moments on the train entirely and completely until I saw Bucky’s face again.” He starts fidgeting with his fingers while trying to avoid eye contact. “I only started thinking of this even more when Nat stopped showing up at meetings, for a spy she isn’t good at hiding things. She went to London two weeks ago and haven’t seen her since so I can’t get this out anywhere but here as no one else would get the weirdness. I know you don’t entirely get it either, and I am not expecting any rational explanation for what I am about to say.”

“There always is.”

“I used to think the same way but, with Avengers only weird things happen.” Steve takes a pause. “So to get back on point. Everything was going to plan on that day, it was until we got separated in different train cars. It seemed calm until I just heard gunfire from where Bucky is trapped. There was a lot of ricocheting of bullets and slams. Another slam came from behind me, there was a guy in….” He squirms. “I don’t know what to call it. He was just covered in this technology I have never seen before and lit up with a soft light along the edges. HYDRA always was like that with their technology, terrifying really.”

“What did he do?”

“He started shooting me with… these balls kinda. They matched the colour of the technology he was using. I bashed his head in with my shield and shot my way into where Bucky was. At that point he was out of bullets so I tossed him my gun. Zola was screaming over the train intercoms. ‘Kill them! Kill them now!’ I didn’t see.” Steve’s voice breaks trying to hold in a small sob. “I…. I didn’t see him stand and try to shoot Bucky.”

“Take a breath Steve. Remember in through the nose out through the mouth.”

He follows her instructions, taking a few moments to just focus on a ticking clock, the sound of Mila’s pen and to relax before continuing to talk. “Bucky dove out of the way, the shot landing into the side of the train, tearing it open like the tinfoil it was. I beat the guy with my shield again but in the smallest moment between my blows he fired again, Bucky having to dive. The only direction was out so that is where he went. The guy who was shooting was downed; he wasn’t going to get up for a long time.” Steve leans back into his chair, squirming even more. “He was just gripping onto the side of the train, looking scared for his life. I tried. I really did try my best to inch along what metal was there but it broke with a loud crack. He screamed while falling into the snowy valley below. All I could manage was to scream his name. I wish I could have told him I loved him again. Then the most haunting noise echoed across the valley and mountains and everything felt normal again despite the pit of dread in my stomach. It was the sound of bagpipes just playing slightly off tune. I didn’t know where they were coming from.”

Mila nods giving him a sympathetic look. “With all of that, how did you feel when you saw Bucky on the bridge in D.C.?’

“I…” Some tears slide out. “I was so conflicted. He looked like him but had a metal arm. I saw into his eyes though, he wasn’t the same. I said ‘Bucky?’ and all he said in response is ‘who the hell is Bucky?’ I don’t know what exactly happened to him wherever he was all those years but he… isn’t him anymore.”

“Reflecting on yourself, how do you feel?”

“I feel like that will be my life until the end. Just a new war every single time.”

Mila nods. “Thank you for trusting me with this Steve. I am going to end our appointment a little bit short today so you can decompress and do some self care, okay? Do you still have the booklet I gave you?” He nods. “If you ever feel in danger of you doing anything please call me  _ immediately _ .”

Steve gives his best warming smile with a sniffle trying to hold back crying. “Thank you, Mila. See you next week?”

“See you next week.”


End file.
